


Light Me Up (discontinued)

by AmayaInMyTummy



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F, Joy is in rs with Wendy, Red Velvet-freeform, Training, Yeri is hoplessly in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 08:23:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8155547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmayaInMyTummy/pseuds/AmayaInMyTummy
Summary: A story where Kim Yerim is filled with a newly found hope when Park Sooyoung comes in her life.





	1. Oh girl

 

 

_When you think that everything is in its worst for you and that you’ve lost hope, just think of your soul mate, waiting for you, in the world where you will never be lonely in the arms of each other._

_==_

 

The sun’s rays blessed the shop with its brightness in a breezy morning. Everyone in the neighbourhood was greeting each other, with smiles on their faces and compliments on their lips, the words coming out when the right time comes.

 

Very few people who likes coffee and bread like myself, were inside one of the two coffee shops in the neighbourhood. The smell of the place is like the smell of a warm home.

Smell of bread and coffee and sweets. The smell itself brings the customers in peace.

 

Though, the reason why I am in the coffee shop was that they have free offer for their early customers.

 

Best part was that they would serve you whatever you want, even when it’s not on their menu. And since I have been here nearly every morning, I have always paid for the milk tea they only made for me.

 

It feels good to be special, I know.

 

My specialized milk tea was served in my table with a polite greeting and I thanked the waiter with the same politeness.

 

A notification popped on my screen and I swiped at it to look at what it is about. The face of my favourite person appeared and there her tweet gave an information away.

 

I smirk, suddenly feeling a sense of power wash through me, and I read the tweet all over again.

\--

 

Milk tea has always been my favourite drink, and be it a free time or not, I make sure to get one to drink later on. I guess there’s just a magic that milk tea brings to my body. Placebo effect, probably.

 

With the bottle of milk tea on my mind, my foot steps on the store as my hand holds the door to open it, and blast, a beauty greeted me nicely with a nice smile and nice eyes.

 

The beating of my heart made me deaf with its intensity inside my chest but an automatic smile has made its way on my lips. A moment passed and her attention switched to the customer in front of her but I’m glad nevertheless.

 

I continued on watching her even with the bottle in my hands. She really is beautiful. Her beauty was the kind that could make little children smile automatically. Anyone could adore her with just a glance.

 

The look she provided and fed me with was a rare opportunity; I know very well that I am a lucky human to even receive such blessing.

 

Her green clothing truly made her beauty glow and it’s almost unfair how she looks gorgeous with such simple clothing.

A smile made its way my lips and I covered it with the loose strands falling on my face as I look down at the polished floor.

 

My silly self figured that I’d have to fall in line soon to pay for my item, given that there have been a few moments that has passed since I got the bottle, but my feet just won’t get the sign and rooted itself on the floor. It doesn’t help that my heart rate increases every passing second with the reminder of her eyes and smile directed to me; genuinely for me.

 

With the sound of the door opening and closing, my eyes fixated itself on the beauty behind the cashier, seeing that hers are already on mine and that her lips are tugged on either sides. I probably felt my energy drained as my knees weaken and my hands turned cold. Help was what I need but my stomach gave away on me as a whirling inside me greatly impacted my body.

 

I saw no one else in the room but the two of us and thankfully, my feet automatically made its way in front of her, in the cash register. Giving the item for her to scan, my lips tugged again, the action making me bow my head down to conceal the wide grin on my lips.

 

The pounding of my heart worsen when I heard her soft voice speaking. It resulted to the deafening my ears, so that I was not aware of what she said. So I returned my gaze on her eyes but she distracted me with those plump lips, and there my gaze went.

 

When I heard her speak for the second time, I almost slapped myself for ogling at her rosy lips, because she laughed at me while muttering that I should probably pay instead of fulfilling fantasies in my mind. I asked for an apology, but surely not without my cheeks tainting a bright shade of pink.

 

My hands went to get the amount of money I should pay her with, and when I gave it, my hands were undeniably and visibly shaking. I probably can’t look at her eyes without being reminded of the happening.

 

She gave me the change later on and handed me the bottle. When my gaze automatically landed on her eyes after that, she grinned down at me with her eyes turning crescents.

 

I’m sure my mind has gone crazy with how hard and fast my heart was beating. My cheeks probably gave the brightest shade of pink.

 

And my silly heart fell deep and hard.

 

\--

 

I woke up to the loud voice of my mom echoing through the confines of our home. My body, though, can’t ignore the comfort that the bed was offering, making it succumb to its softness.

 

Seconds later, I was starting to drift into a deep slumber.

But I guess my mom did not get the point of sleeping peacefully, as her profanities were all I heard. Shrugging the sluggishness out of my system, I walked my way to her, using her voice as a guide. And there I saw my mom, talking to two girls, whose backs became my view.

 

As my mom was ushering the two girls inside our house, with their bags strapped securely against their body, only then did she notice me and only then did I remember that I forgot to put on my upper underwear. Just like on cue, the beautiful face of a certain young maiden revealed itself to me, making my knees weaken, my eyes widen and my heart scream against my chest simultaneously that I begin to wonder if it’s audible enough for them to hear.

 

The sides of her mouth turn up slowly to smirk lovingly at me and I swear that I could slap myself for bringing myself in an awkward situation with her. Her gaze unconsciously went down to my clothes and I’m fully aware of the dots peeking through my shirt, and I could have sped my way to my room, if only my dear mother was not giving me the look to politely greet the guests.

 

Indeed, it was bow that I did, and as they redo the action, my tummy flutters, which I’m sure can be seen through my blushing mess of a face.

 

Perfectly clueless, my mom continued to usher them inside our house with my gaze never leaving her doll-like face. Not without my heart drumming against my chest, like it’s proving itself of the feelings I’m going through.

 

I followed them inside the house, curious to how the conversation between them would go, and went directly inside my room, when I was sure that they weren’t looking, finally getting the chance to put the inner clothing around my chest area.

 

\--

Just like any teenager out there, my circle of friends constantly talk about meet-ups and all those things when school break comes and there are lots of time to spend for them, which we talk about spending with each other. At least just once. Since I have a lot on my sleeves.

 

And after all the plans, we settled for the school. Deciding that it would be a good place to reminisce the memories of the past.

 

I walk down our traditional house, welcoming myself in the warm neighbourhood, and taking in the surroundings.

The sun shines so bright, beaming down at the neighbourhood, which indicates that it is a good day. Luckily, it never becomes too hot, for the trees scatter around the place, protecting the people from the sun’s wild rays.

 

I smile as I make my way down the neighbourhood, because the day couldn’t get any better. With the thought of meeting my friends after a long time, I feel like I could hop my way to the school.

 

Considering that the school was a 5-minute walk from the house, my feet dragged my almost stiff body for a wind-splashing run.

 

When I finally reached the school, the security guard at the gates asked if I am with the previous girls went are inside. I nod at him, smiling, and he gestures his hand inside the confines of the campus.

 

\--

 

The sun couldn’t have set completely yet when we noticed the clouds settling for a dark shade of grey. It hints us of the coming bad weather, and would possibly bless the ground with heavy droplets of rainwater.

It’s kind of confusing how the weather changed so quickly. Oh well, I guess there’s some mood swing going on.

 

We got the message and decided to part ways with hugging each other, the action being the only thing to get our feelings through one another. Most of the times, it’s hard to admit your true feelings, but with these simple deeds, the idea was well-communicated. We obviously missed each other but we’re always too shy to admit it.

 

Only a couple of steps away from the school I’ve walked, and there a certain beauty graced me with her presence. She was opening an umbrella, an obvious action because of the coming rain.

 

The beautiful lady wasn’t supposed to notice me, but because I was, again, ogling at her stunning form, she caught me off-guard with a bright and mischievous smile that shone against the darkness of our surroundings.

 

My heart beats against my chest and the next moment, she’s right in front of me, smirking beautifully.

 

“I happen to see you staring at me again. What’s with your stares?” she laughs as she nudges at me.

She must have felt somewhat close to me, considering that she just had a breakfast with my family, which is due to my mother’s kindness to them, with everyone in my family sure to at least tell an embarrassing moment in my life. Nonetheless, I still feel awe-struck, with a feeling of nervousness somewhere there.

 

Her umbrella came above our heads, covering us but at the same time, making us share the small space. Few droplets of rain have fallen and the others followed suit.

 

The person in front of me, was dressed in a white long-sleeved sweater on top of a violet skirt, her shoulders carrying a back-pack and her teeth flashed in a dashing smile that makes my mind a mess with how I can’t focus on anything else but her.

 

“Mind you, I wasn’t staring,” I huffed at her, my hand brushing my hair to the back of my shoulder and smoothing it in place.

 

I heard a chuckle from her so I directed my eyes to her own pair to see what the commotion was about, but she was just looking at me with an idiotic smile. My eyebrows met with a gap in the middle, and I’m sure my orbs were asking but she just shook her head, the irritatingly cute grin was still on her plump lips.

 

“Well miss, if that wasn’t staring, I bet you were gaping,” her mouth can’t be stretched more, but it just did. And with it, came a powerful tug at my heart.

 

A roll of my eyes gave away, obviously for the girl in front of me, but the twitching of my mouth formed a smile, which became inevitable, so I hid my face with my hair.

 

She seemed to didn’t get the point when I passed by her to continue the postponed walk, a few moments after, for she followed me with her umbrella still above our heads. I stopped to look at her, obviously harried at her presence, but she just shrugged at me, her eyes delightful of my current mood. The hair on her back was peacefully cascading down and bouncing about her upper body just before she fully stopped.

 

My feet continued to take steps and I admit, it was actually peaceful. It was weird and different but it was nice, having her beside me. Well, I can’t possibly deny of my attraction for her, can I?

 

I’m an open book most of the times when it comes to the people I like. She must have sensed that when the reaction of my body to her hand curling its way around my arm, was at its highest. I could have sworn that my eyes were twice as large its normal size and that my heart could have leaped out of my heart.

 

“Ease up, will you? I won’t bite off your head,” she joked, laughing at my stiffness as we walk.

 

“How can I be sure of that? What if you’re this zombie pretending to be a normal person?” I joked back at her, a restrained smile that might turn into an idiotic grin if not controlled, was present on my face.

 

The beating of my heart does not pacify so I let it be. I saw her shrug as a giggle came out of her rosy lips. She said, “Well, believe it or not, I won’t. Though, I would probably slay you slowly using my fingernails.”

 

I know I’m supposed to act scared but my eyes rolled instinctively, and a chuckle can be heard from me.

 

Her right hand slowly withdrew from my arm and the next thing I know, I was being slapped in the arm multiple of times. It does not stop immediately so I just went with laughing at how adorable she looks like when annoyed.

 

My mind flew to the previous happenings when we our worlds kept intersecting and meeting again, and I can only be thankful that she did not bother to bring up the latest interaction days ago, where she caught me off-guard with her presence.

 

She’s probably unaware of it, but the time she share with me on my walk home, is something I won’t forget. It’s my happiness in my sad, tedious life.


	2. come and light me up

  _A lot of people would come and go in your life, but only those who you cherish and whom cherish you, would actually stay and make a meaning out of your life._

_==_

_If you believe that everything's alright  
You won't be all alone tonight_

The music played peacefully against my ears as I make my way out my room, bidding a soft goodbye to my lovely parents.

Piano accompanied the vocalist and it blends well with each other that a simple tapping against my thigh as I walk, was inevitable.

 

_Please._

 

After the first verse, the vocal was accompanied by drums and what seems to be violin. I continued listening to it, the lyrics directly hitting my chest.         

 

When the harmony got beautifully worse, my head couldn’t stop nodding to the beat.

 

I smile at everyone looking at me suspiciously, and despite their gazes filled with confusion, my head continued bobbing up and down to the music softly running down through my every nerve.

 

“Oh can you tell that I haven’t slept very well since the last time that we spoke? I said, **‘** Please understand, I’ve been drinking again and all I do is hope. **’** ” I sing with the lyrics beating in my heart and a coat wrapped on my right arm.

 

As I head my way towards the store, I hum a little more, with my heart breaking a little more.

 

Until the part I’m truly hurt, comes and with restrained voice and closed eyes, I sing, “’Cause I’m not strong for the both of us. What was I supposed to do? You know I love you.”

 

It was when I opened my eyes that I happened to see someone staring at me openly, with a smirk on her lips.

 

My right hand immediately did its job, which was to remove the earplugs out of my ear, and my eyes widen at a not-so-beautiful width. Her smirk unbelievably widens too and the inevitable roll of my eyes came without notice.

 

“Ooh,” she giggles. “I didn’t take you as a talented person,” she said as she steps toward me. Her eyes averted to the coat wrapped around my arm and said, “And I didn’t think that you’d return it almost immediately.”

 

To say that she wasn’t aware of her charms would be a big, big lie. Her colourful charms were sent directly to my heart, where it drowns me and suffocates me in the best of ways.

 

I nodded and my hands neatly folded the crinkles of the coat. The coat came between us, our hands holding either sides, until I let go of it, and it stayed on her arms.

 

Our eyes held each other’s gazes for a long time, and as each second passes by, continuously tick my every nerve. But her eyes are beautiful and they seemed to be curious of my being, that it started evaporating into thin air. Whatever there was between us, evaporated and time stopped to matter, as we were unconsciously smiling.

 

My voice speak out even when I don’t want to break anything sweet that we created between us, muttering, “I guess I would go for now.”

 

A sly smile landed on her lips and I watched it open beautifully, her pretty lips saying, “Okay, take care.”

 

I replied with a smile, “Thank you for lending your coat that night. It was really helpful during the heavy rain,” decided to leave out the details of the nights I spend that I wore it to sleep, smiling goofily althrough the night until the morning.

 

Her smile turned into a wide grin, that her eyes were forming crescents, and nodded at me. A second passed as we stare at each other’s eyes and we both stepped forward, heading to our paths.

 

I stepped to the left and she stepped to the right, and with one last gaze at each other, our intersected paths started to pass by either ways. My heart felt empty almost immediately and only then did I notice that with her presence, I was truly and fully zealous.

 

With one deep breath, I turned to look at her, knowing that I would see her walking, but surprised to see her already looking at me, her lips forming a wide smirk.

 

The look she was giving me seemed to take my breath away, and from the small distance between us, I heard her chuckle. The action triggered my heart to oscillate and it did, continuously, until it became the only thing I heard.

 

A benevolent of a smile landed on my lips, thankful that our paths coincided with each other and kept doing so, and I saw her nod at me, a signal that would finally cut the eye contact and sparks between us and would let us continue our walk to our paths.

 

I turn around almost immediately after the nod, and my hidden and kept smile meets the world in brightness and in happiness. Once again, the music started filling my ears as the ear phones connected with my ears.

 

==

 

The instructor started counting together with his body moving and his foot stepping. I followed his moves easily, and when I repeated it just to feel comfortable with the steps, I looked at the full body mirror to watch my movements. The choreography was for the song “Slow Motion” and Sungjae oppa picked me as his partner.

 

He said that if we perfected the choreography together, then I would have more chances of debuting. And being the hardworking trainee I am, I only became determined to do my best, hoping that I could stand on my own stage.

 

When Sungjae oppa has taught me half of the dance, he gave a water break and I happily ran to get my water bottle. I immediately slipped down the wall to cross my legs in an indian seat and chugged on the water.

 

“Rest for two minutes and we’ll do twenty sit-ups and twenty push-ups,” Sungjae oppa, who seemed to be calmer than when we first started, said in a soothing voice.

 

I nodded at him to show that I got it. Training for years already, I’ve got used to their ways of training. Sometimes, they can be harsh but that would soon lead to your improvement, which I admit, was the best thing about them.

 

Standing, I guided my limbs to stretch and massage them for a while before doing some jumping jacks. The thing about training for hours in a day is that you can get strained muscle if you don’t stretch.

 

Instructor Sungjae oppa kneeled down and patted the space in front of him after he has ran around the room. I laid flat on the polished floor and when I felt his knees on my feet, my hands went to curl on opposite sides of my shoulders and raised my body halfway. Repeating the action again and again, I made sure to do the breathings and countings properly.

 

After getting done with the sit-ups, I sat up properly to massage my legs yet again. I rolled my body to put my hands and knees against the floor, with my feet crossed in the air. Sungjae oppa nodded at me, signalling me to start and I did. Counting loudly as my nose touched the floor lightly every time, I realized how it has been easier for me to do these exercises.

 

By the time I was done, I was panting a little but that didn’t stop me from standing up and jogging on my place. The lean but cute instructor has noticed this as he finally gave me a smile for the first time and I don’t know why but it makes me halt my movements. I just stared at him, knowing that I should probably take a picture of his smile then frame it but I didn’t.

 

“Seems like you’re working harder than ever,” he starts. “I like that.”

 

I nod my head as he continues, “I guess choosing you was not a mistake at all.” As I heard him, my eyes were sure to twinkle and I almost couldn’t help the scream from escaping my mouth. But of course, if I wanted to be an idol, I have to control my emotions, so I just gave him a wide grin.

 

“Shall we continue?” he asks. I nod and together, we face the mirror again, immediately picking up where we left off.

 

\--

 

The music played softly inside the confines of the practice room and my body coordinated with it, dancing peacefully along the music. It’s almost as if the steps were engraved on my body that it starts to be a part of me, a part of who I am. Sungjae oppa decided to watch me do it on my own first, before we dance together.

 

Soon, I was dancing freely with my eyes closed, and I had let the song consume my every fiber. I know that even with my body freely moving, every move I produce was solid in a way that has ease in it.

 

The song only lasts for a while but my worry about it somehow evaporates as I become one with every beat. In a slow motion, similar to the title of the song, my hands and feet moved with each other as it’s almost like the music accompanies my every move.

 

My breath puffed out of my mouth as I feel the shift of my surroundings to a lighter and happier atmosphere. As the chorus almost finishes, I opened my eyes, hoping that while dancing I could see the once in a blue moon of a smile on my instructor’s lips, but as I was dancing, what I saw shocked me. The supply of coherent words and supply of enough oxygen inside my lungs started to cut short.

 

The last step escaped my body with the heaving of my chest and I turned at everyone who was currently on the room. I admit it was a very big splash of cold water on my body as everyone who I look up to, were here in the room and they could have watched me dance.

 

Insecurity seeped its way to my skin as I saw Hyoyeon sunbae-nim’s face sporting a serious look directed at me with a hint of mischievousness present in her eyes. I’m fully aware of her personality or just any other SNSD member, because they were one of my inspirations into wanting to lead the idol life. And I know that she’s probably just messing with me, but I can’t keep it out of my system.

 

Yuri sunbae-nim reacted first among the three of them, including Sooyoung sunbae-nim, and clapped very loudly. Soon, everyone followed that I can’t help but bow at them repeatedly. Sungjae oppa smiled proudly at me with a nod and I feel the utmost gratitude for him.

 

How the trio came here was unimaginable to me, because why would they come here suddenly when they’re one of the busiest people I know. Thankfully, Sooyoung sunbae-nim spoke out, saying, “I guess making a way for your performance wasn’t a waste at all.”

 

I nod, giving my thanks, still a bit far from them since I feel unworthy to be given that for now. Sungjae oppa explained further for their presence in the room, saying, “I asked them personally if they can watch an amazing trainee dance and they immediately agreed, so that’s why they were here to watch your performance.”

 

Sooyoung sunbae-nim nodded her head multiple of times as she said with a loud voice, “Yes, yes. And he was very persistent about it. He must have liked you a lot then.”

 

My head turned at the side of my instructor to see that he was covering his face with both hands. I can see very well that his ears are red

and I just smiled goofily at the sight. Hyoyeon sunbae-nim walked up to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder, whispering that she’d like to have a performance with me once I debut.

 

I grinned widely at her, and from the close proximity of our faces to each other, I fully appreciated her beauty without make-up. Yes, I know. I just had the privilege to see a bare-faced sunbae.

 

She added that I am lucky that I am liked by a very stone hearted guy like Sungjae. When I returned my gaze to him, he was smiling sheepishly at me as both Yuri sunbae-nim and Sooyoung sunbae-nim are by his either sides, talking to him.

 

 

What’s happening, really?

 

\--

 

After S.H.Y sunbaes took a picture with us, with Sungjae oppa and I at the middle, they went out of the room, saying that they’ll head to their schedules.

 

The atmosphere between us was kind of eerie but I brushed it off by giving my thanks at him and bidding goodbye. He nodded and just smiled slightly at me, letting me get home. And I did, riding my bicycle.

 

I didn’t know he had that shy side on him. And I didn’t know he could smile so wide. But my heart’s reserved to a certain someone already.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S.H.Y is Sooyoung, Hyoyeon and Yuri
> 
> The choreography for "Slow Motion" is this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7CWBkfv8no


	3. light me

_But it’s not always about finding your other half, or making a strong compatibility with someone you like. Sometimes it’s also about finding yourself and being contented with yourself._

\--

 

My days of being free and of lazing around has come to an end as the training become more frequent. Actually intended to make all of us exert more effort into it.

 

I was quite fine with it, for the effort that I would be shedding, would soon reward me my own dream in great fulfilment. Nothing could be better than the promise of debut.

 

The training hours in a week turned into days as school break is always the time when we have lots of time to spend.

 

Sungjae oppa and the other instructors gathered everyone, specially the trainees, into a meeting. Minjae oppa said that they’d all agreed on having everyone stay in the dorms, separated by gender and years of training, as it was always the case.

 

Last summer break, I had went into a dorm too, together with the unnies who have trained more or less years with me. Joohyun unnie, Seulgi unnie and even Soojung unnie before she debuted were all in the same dorm as me when I started training. When Soojung unnie debuted, she still made sure to come by our dorm when she can, bringing her members sometimes and even her sister.

 

Honestly, Jessica sunbae-nim and I were too awkward on the most part. And for as long as I can, I don’t want to dwell on it.

 

“This year, as we have more of the new trainees, we will mix people with different ages and different training years but not of the different gender. You all know we don’t allow relationships while training so take that as a clear explanation,” U-kwon oppa said, who was by far the most amazing dancer I’ve met who is not a trainee.

 

Sungjae oppa supported his friend’s statement with saying, “Yes, that’s right. And speaking of new trainees, we got one right now with us. Miss Park Sooyoung, please reveal yourself to them.”

 

My eyes widen when I heard the name. The sudden racing of my heart, clouding of my mind and freezing of my hands got the best of me as the hiding figure among the instructors ascended in front for everyone to see.

 

I cannot deny, the girl is breath-taking as usual, and I believe that drop was what got my fellow trainees’ jaws’ in. Figuratively, that is. But for me, I am quite sure that it has been hard for me to even deliver a proper breath in and out of my lungs.

 

The girl named Sooyoung flashed us a wide grin that showcases her white, perfect teeth in her plump and rosy lips. As it has always been, the pacing of my heart even got faster.

 

Sooyoung, as if it’s not enough torture, scanned her eyes at the crowd of sitting trainees, which of course I am one with, and locked eyes with me. Her eyes turned into the most beautiful crescents I’ve ever seen and I thought I heard of what might be a chuckle before speaking.

 

“Hello everyone! My name is Park Sooyoung. You can either call me Sooyoung or Joy, as it will be the stage name I’ll go with when I debut. Please take care of me,” she says, giggling a little as she scratches the back of her neck after.

 

I guess she’s really cool. Already thought of a stage name when she just started training.

Her eyes though, never left mine, having ourselves continue the staring contest we engaged ourselves in, while cold sweat rolled down my neck.

 

Admittedly, it’s only a little before it becomes awkward, having a staring contest with a pristine young lady like I am already doing, but it doesn’t. It stays on the good side, even with my thoughts rambling on my head and my breath getting stuck in my throat.

 

Sungjae oppa must have noticed our long eye contact for he cleared his throat and dismissed the meeting. Everyone stood up and conversed with the people in their circle, as the instructors informed us that the additional information about our dorms would soon be posted in a private page where everyone is joined in. That’s a lot handy these days, honestly.

 

The lady was walking to my way as I can see, and with every step came the thumping of my heart. It was almost nerve-wrecking but on my right I hear faint calling of my name, the sound coming from the two of the most precious fellow trainees I’ve been with ever since I started training four years ago, when my line of sight connected with their figures running towards me.

 

First with Seulgi unnie's bear-like face that was even emphasized by the bun her hair was in, and it suited her very slim and well-proportioned body. Her body was hugged loosely by a white shirt that is too big for her small frame, and by the fitted black leggings that allowed her legs run freely despite the tight fit. Her white shoes also added an effect to her outfit.

 

Then, my eyes connected with the innocent beauty of a lady with years after twenty as her age. Her straight black hair was flowing widely about her body, down to her waist and with just that, anyone can completely fall into the charm that is Bae Joohyun. She decided to wear a loose silver blouse with “BEAUTY” printed in black, tucked in a plain white skater skirt. They both looked fabulous but honestly, their fashion taste differ too much that it’s almost a painful task just to look at them.

 

My stiff body because of nervousness, started to relax as I smile at the childish ladies with childish grins on their faces. I just roll my eyes mentally with their silly approach but I guess, it can’t be helped. Honestly, I’m excited with the thought of spending time in the dorms again. Never has it made me feel less at home, really.

 

By the time I was supposed to greet them after reaching the spot just in front of me, their eyes weren’t directed on me anymore and it caught my breath as I noticed that they were staring seriously at _the_ beautiful lady.

 

It was this moment that I truly appreciated her beauty, from the littlest of the details to the more encompassing parts. Her long wavy hair that tells of never-ending fairytale-like stories was hanging lowly just past her waist. The eyes of hers which never seemed to stop weaving mysteries that contained a lot but of only which beauty I can truly point out, shines the most with the sparkles that lit every dying cell to be awaken.

 

Like a road, the ups and downs, the curves and straights, defines her face well. Its role on the nose being an applause-worthy as the right curve was casted on it, made so perfectly to stun and amuse any normal being. Her neck to the rest of her body was so precisely sculpted and meld that not even the most endearing word can give justice to it.

 

Fingers so long and slim that could go on forever and cast any spell for anyone to suffer, flow just beside her clothed thighs. Her thighs that was showcased in a simple black shorts that somehow matched the black horizontal lines on the white fitted top. The black horizontal lines that somehow improved her best asset and her S-line body.

 

She looked amazing in that simple outfit she was in, in all honesty, and stare was the only thing that I can do.

 

Involuntarily, my heart makes a scene again, rampaging against my chest that it got harder to breathe again. It was then that I’ve noticed how they were all looking my way and I had to make an awkward throaty laugh before apologizing for not introducing each other instantly. And I did, but not without stammering and making fun of myself, as has always been the case when I’m with her.

 

She laughed, her giggle echoing about the confines of my heart and about my body with the blood circulating was already caught in the infection that is her laugh. I stared at her, knowing it could only last for a while before the chance perishes and I’m left with memories alone to replay on my mind, but she spoke.

 

“I’m sorry for laughing at you but why were you so caught up with staring at me? How many times had this happened, hm?” she says as she plays like she’s really thinking but there’s a knowing tug on her lips. When her eyes were securely locked with mine again, my lungs were in no condition to function properly as I was sure for every breath left was caught and ceased to the wind. She’s too stunning that even her voice started to sound like a lullaby to feed my strained soul.

 

My eyes went astray from her strong captive that allowed me to gather the breath sucked from me by the beautiful lady just a few steps away, and casted my eyes upon my great friends who were looking at me with pure concern mixed with confusion.

 

Deciding to explain things, I said, “Joohyun unnie, Seulgi unnie, Sooyoung-ssi and I met a few days back at a convenience store while I was buying some milk tea.”

 

Knowing expressions scattered and painted their faces, and they smile at each other. I guess they think it’s weird to meet such a beautiful lady with my favourite beverage being the reason.

 

“And Sooyoung-ssi,” I called her, nervously. She responded chirpily, “Yes?”

 

Heart rate’s going too fast without my permission and my eyes get too attached to the beauty in front of me but I gathered some confidence and said, “Sooyoung-ssi, these are my friends.”

 

Joohyun unnie nudged me using her left elbow and I can only let my eyes ask the question. Her answer came in a form of a question when she said it out loud, “Aren’t you going to at least tell your new friend of our names, our Yerim?”

 

Blush permeates and paints the skin on my cheek, and I can only get embarrassed as my mind echo the shame that my friend has put me in. My hands turned sweaty as hazy thoughts fill my mind and all I wanted to do was run from the situation. But I couldn’t and I have to face this right now.

 

“We’re not really friends, Joohyun unnie, we just sort of met. It was even a shock that I saw her here,” I justified, feeling the need to explain how everything happened and such.

 

A faint smile covered my lips and it stayed there for the longest heartbeat I could ever manage to feel. We soon part ways, and mostly I am thankful of how the strange emotions I’m having, evaporated into thin air and with it came my worries, somehow.

\--

Actually, not. Well, that’s because there is only so many times I get to see them before I finally got to hear their conversation. Which, unfortunately lead me to a very disheartening situation.

\--

 

I was already knowledgeable of Wendy’s (Joy’s friend and housemate) training in the company for already two years. We never really talked nor never really trained together but I heard that she is kind.

 

No matter how “kind” they boast about her, I just get the wrong feeling after seeing her and Joy together for the second time. The first time being that morning they spent on the house because of my mom. I can only thank her that time for not making things more awkward than it already was.

 

Walking on the way to the comfort room, I passed by them talking and laughing on one corner, their hands even tangled on each other’s faces and waists. They looked maddeningly in love with each other it sickened me. I feel the ache in my tummy that became of the sourness in my mouth. Not only that, a certain ache in my heart dwelled too, making me hit it with closed fist again and again, just to lessen the pain.

 

By the time I was inside a cubicle, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was suppressing and a shocking tear left my eye, followed by more.

\--

 

After seeing them at the corner, they kept showing before me again and again. Whether that was a coincidence or not, it truly irritates me. I was quite sure that no one dared approach me with how lethal my stare was.

 

But I was pretty thankful how I didn’t snap at anyone. My training with Sungjae oppa went well, and he even added more to the choreography just to make it longer.

 

Careful as I was, my path and theirs intersected yet again, for the last time today. I overheard them talking as I was securing my things in my duffel bag and for the last time, the all-too-familiar but foreign pain permeated and held my chest in it.

 

“Do you want to eat somewhere before we go home, jagiya?” Wendy asks in English. I know very well that she’s half American and how she’s raised there, special thanks to everyone who talks about her like she’s a divine being.

 

It’s not really a surprise how well she speaks but it kind of irked me in a way that she’s speaking in a different language when we’re in Korea. She can speak Korean fluently so why use another language right?

 

Not only that, she addressed her in a way only couples do. _Jagiya._ I almost want to rip her mouth out of her face with how strong my emotion is.

 

My tears could only flow like the waves of the sea crashing the shore and making a mark when it retreats, as my feet stepped and stepped further away from where they are situated, and my world crashed on me, weighing me down and sucking the life out of me.

 

Dear young lady is already taken and I don’t know what to make of that information.

\--

 

The next days were easier than that day, and I focused more on improving my skills rather than stalking on their lives.

 

Life for me though, has never been so strained considering that we were forced into training together. I have to notice all their sweet nothings and Sooyoung never talked to me anymore. Her attention was all in taking care of her girlfriend.

 

Okay, maybe I was lying a little on how I’m not really focusing on them because I am with the both of them in a room. It’s very hard to ignore them, honestly.

 

A thing that hasn’t changed though, was that whenever my eyes lock on her beautiful face, the breath gets stuck on my throat and I can’t breathe all over again. My hands would turn cold and I would lose my focus. Thankfully, Sungjae oppa was there as always to look for me.

 

He’s been a lot helpful since the day that S.H.Y sunbae-nims visited to see me dance. He compliments me more often too, and guides me more into improving. I hope that he doesn’t have any romantic feelings toward me though I can almost see it in his eyes and in the way his lips tug on either sides of his mouth.

 

I thank him every day for that and he just messes my hair every time. Until that time that I caught a glimpse of Sooyoung looking at us.


End file.
